Disappointment

Why do I have to let people down? Why is it so easy for me to just push others people's wants out of the way and please myself? I can be so dang selfish sometimes. And really, it makes me feel like crap. I hate disappointing people, because when it comes down to it, it's never their fault. I can't pin the blame on them. I can't say that they are being too needy or they are being too clingy, because the fact of the matter is, I said I would do something and then I found some way to make myself feel happy while leaving them hanging. It's just messed up really. I've made a commitment, and I need to hold to that commitment. I don't want to live my life for myself. I don't want to live my individual life. I've made a choice to live it for God and included in that is living for my friends. Included in that is simply saying "Hey guys I need to go back for the night cause I told my girlfriend I would talk with her." Is it really that hard? No, it's not, but I still didn't do it. I was flaky, and that's not fair to her. Hopefully I'll do better. Please pray for me.